What is amazing is how cheaters can play the victim while they are actively abusing their own spouse via lying and cheating.
The faithful spouse might spend a whole series of counseling sessions with a pastor and their cheater never knowing about the infidelity. These meetings turn into faithful spouse basing sessions. It is sick.
Some cheaters hate that their marks learn of the infidelity because they cannot as easily manipulate the pastor or counselor in sessions once that is known.
The cheater is not at these sessions to heal the marriage. If they were, they would openly share their sins and repent.
Rather, I suspect that many cheaters go to these sessions to punish the faithful spouse and for the thrill of power such sessions give them. It is just a suspicion.
“What is amazing is how cheaters can play the victim while they are actively abusing their own spouse via lying and cheating.”
Also as a part of the lying, the massive financial fraud. I lived like a pioneer woman replete with wood stove to save on electricity. I did it willingly so ex cheater could have his coveted boat and spot on the river. I bought my and my sons clothes at goodwill and discount stores. The pay off was we got to spend a lot of time together on the river and on our boat.
What I didn’t know until after he was outed and I ran credit card bills was that for many years he had also been pouring money into his direct reports hands; gifts, cash, dinners, clothing purchases from Penney’s that I had never shopped at etc.
It has been many years for me, and I have been blessed with a wonderful husband who has for 28 years treated me with kindness and compassion and generosity. I have done the same for him. But to this day if anyone ever says I was partly to blame, they might get throat punched. But no, I likely would just stare at them and walk away.