A bruised reed He will not break,
And smoking flax He will not quench;
He will bring forth justice for truth.-Isaiah 42:3, NKJV
Pastors, adultery victims are “bruised reeds.”
They have experienced great trauma and injustice at the hands of their own spouse. The last thing such a faithful spouse is condemnation or more blame-shifting. They need care.
These are not the ones needing their pride broken.
They are the recently–if not presently–humiliated. Adultery victims are humbled by the reality that we cannot control the fidelity of our own spouse or even stop a divorce once filed by a cheater in discard mode.
Jesus’ approach to such individuals is clear.
He is gentle and caring. Jesus does not heap up burdens on faithful spouses of false guilt–e.g. implying control over someone else’s choices to sin–or any other such heavy spiritual burden like condemnation over getting divorced from a cheater. He does not seek to break the bruised reed.
Please be like Jesus:
Do not salt the raw wounds of rejection, blame-shifting, and powerlessness faithful spouses are already enduring.
DM. Can Ministers be a stumbling block? The ministers of my acquaintance had seemed complacent, almost partnering with my cheating spouse. Unfortunately my young adult kids witnessed this.
As small children, when they would argue or scuffle I would have them apologize to each other, then follow with “I forgive you”. It was as much for them as it was for me. We all let the event go. They see there is not the repentance that precludes forgiveness in this, but yet the pressure to forgive is implied by the ministers.
It is overwhelming to attach new descriptors on ALL these things. “Dad” , “Ministers”, “Marriage”, “Family”, “Loyalty”,and “Honor”.
If it were not for the constant of GOD, JESUS, and FAITH. It would be impossible.
I continue to thank God for his direction to you.
I hope some ministers read this and learn from it.