End the evil of those who are wicked,
and defend the righteous.
For you look deep within the mind and heart,
O righteous God.

-Psalm 7:9, NLT

Cheaters can smell our desperation.

I am convinced of this. They know when we will do about anything to keep the marriage together. AND they will use that against us.

This is why defaulting to divorce is such a game-changer in these situations.

You are taking the power away from them to set the terms for the relationship. Plus, you are protecting yourself from further abuse by setting the divorce into motion. Your Cheater will soon learn that the legal system does not allow them to make up the rules up as they go.

As long as you are invested in “saving the marriage” and they are not, you stand in a power imbalance. They hold all the power because your Cheater is the one deciding whether or not to give you what you want. Cheaters love power and will use your desperation against you.

Don’t let them!

Default to divorce (see Mt. 19:9). Let them know that real world consequences come with adulterous abuse, and you refuse to accept such behavior anymore.