When I was going through my divorce–prior to discovering the adultery partner–my divorce lawyer suggested my ex and her family had tried to exploit my vulnerability.
The details do not really matter. Her point was that my ex and her cohorts were likely up to no good. Fair was not their priority.
I did not really agree with my lawyer at that time. Even to this day, I think it was a mix bag as far as what happened in that period.
However, I think my divorce lawyer was more right than wrong. My ex and her supporters did leverage their position of knowledge and–thereby–power to get what they wanted to my loss, IMO.
Whenever dealing with a cheater, remember this individual has a demonstrated character flaw and inclination to deceive and put your well-being at risk for their own pleasure.
It is probably best to assume cheaters are trying to exploit your weakness in the division of assets, etc. Do not look to them to be decent.
The decent thing would have been never to have cheated in the first place.
The decent thing would have been NOT to have assassinated your character to friends and family with lies and innuendo.
The decent thing–after cheating–would have been to give a drastically generous divorce agreement.
Your Blog has been a God send. My father was a pastor. My brother and I worked in the church. Daniel was in seminary studying to be a pastor, I was working in the church admin office. We noticed that my father was dressing, acting differently. We started following him, hacking his accounts, etc, and found out he was cheating on my mom with the Children’s Ministry Leader, who just happened to be my brother’s ex girlfriend. He was fired from the church, and automatically my brother, mother and I were treated guilty by association. I soon found a job outside of church and yes, church members would stop by where I worked to argue with me, even my boyfriends parents say that I am genetically cursed. Wait, what? What happened to Christs love? Why am I being blamed for a sin that isn’t mine? Mom decided to do the “christian thing” and forgive him.
Fast forward 2 years and my father is once again acting strangely. I get a call from the seminary where he teaches and they tell me he has once again cheated. This time its with a 16yr old student and he is being charged criminally. My parentes are getting a divorce, he is in love with the child. In a week Daniel (my brother) is getting married, and people are calling saying that they cannot attend, they cannot be seen with us. Again the family is being treated guilty by association. Please pray for us, so that the Lord can heal my mother’s heart, and that I can care for her the best way possible.
Glad you found your way here! I hope and pray God will surround you with His comforting arms in this difficult season. May you know His peace that transcends understanding! Amen.