Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
-Ephesians 6:4, NLT
Show of–virtual–hands, how many had in-laws who lectured you about your deficiencies as a spouse?
If you are looking for the source of blinding pride, you do not have to look further than those parents. Your (ex) spouse is a real “tribute” to their parenting. They raised a person who is full of blinding arrogance.
Now, I am not attributing the cheater’s sins to his or her parents. The sins of the cheater are the cheaters alone. This is true of the parents as well. Their sins in this matter are theirs to own themselves (see 2 Corinthians 5:10).
Lecturing a faithful husband about how he needs to love his wife better while your daughter, his wife, is committing adultery against him is a truly shameful thing to do!
Yet I doubt this is a really unique situation, sadly. The genders can be changed, and I bet some ladies reading here have have experienced a similar lecture from their in-laws.
It really blows me away.
The role of the parent is to help their child grow in character and godliness. That is what Ephesians 6:4 teaches us.
You would think a Christian parent would be too ashamed to lecture a spouse when their own child so horribly failed the character test of being faithful in the marriage.
Not so. That said, I hope you do not get hung up on their distorted reality. They have issues that they need to sort with Jesus. You cannot force them to choose the path of humility and godliness.
But you do not have to remain in the same “room” (or conversation) as they attack your character and belittle you verbally. They can have their opinion; you do not have to agree with them (or argue with them).
Sometimes the best gift of the divorce is shedding in-laws like these.
I know I am extremely grateful for my new set of in-laws who far exceed in godliness those in-laws I shed from my first marriage.
My nephew’s in-laws, I’m proud to say, took the side of his agrieved spouse when he cheated on her with his secretary. In the end, the nephew repented profusely, broke off the affair, moved his family to another state and reconciled with his bride. She had the total support from both her parents and her in-law parents through the whole process. By God’s grace, they are still married today, 20 years later.
Wow. What a mercy! That sort of response probably helped in the repentance process. Sadly, not all faithful spouses get such support from the in-laws.